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NewslettersPOP: Hannah Montana grows up (and it's gross), Batman!, PopCast!, GI Joe!
Here are a few things that have been laying around, waiting to be put up. Quick hits:
Wait, she’s 15?
No, this isn’t a joke about Roger Clemens (snicker), have you seen those Vanity Fair photos of Miley Ray Cyrus? We are, for the most part, VERY liberal when it comes to artistic expression. We believe in free speech in all of its ugly forms. But, this. Man. Gross.
And, full disclosure, we would be lying if we weren’t partly excited when we heard the news, because it proves we were right months ago. And although it is evil to admit, we will admit it: We love being right. Even if it is about something that is, again, so gross and disturbing. Although we will not being putting on our resume, “Correctly called the corruption and downfall of a 15-year-old pop star.”
With all that said, in a lot of ways, we find this photo of preening ego-centric dad and sexed-up daughter WAY more offensive than the equally disturbing pedophilic pose that is getting all of the attention. Where’s the outrage over this one?
It’s just all icky. And we’re particularly disturbed that, after the photos came out, the Cyruses released the obligatory “We were misled” email. Wait, weren’t the parents ON SET? Didn’t they SEE IT HAPPENING? Aren’t these DIGITAL PHOTOS!? ISN’T THAT BILLY RAY WITH HIS STOMACH-BARING DAUGHTER DRAPED ALL OVER HIM!?!?! Unless your defense is “We’re just dumb country bumpkins that were manipulated by the highfalutin’ ME-DE-YAH” then you have no excuse.
No, this is another celeb movie by the Cyrus family, that obviously sees the continued ascension of the chosen one to be far more important than her well being. “See, we can position her as an adult, but at the same time be able to tell our GULLIBLE, RIDICULOUS audience of soccer moms, 12 year olds and lazy parents that we were tricked — tricked! — by a hussy photog in a skirt. Genius!”
It’s why we’ve found this whole Hannah Montana thing gross to start with. Our original argument was that if you are Papa bear Cyrus, and you have been through the celeb ringer with all of the bad things it brings — the instant fame, the inevitable downfall, the (no doubt) temptations of sex and drugs and stalkers and mullets — then wouldn’t you protect your daughter? Wouldn’t you have her wait until she is, say, 18? Or, at the least, say no when it comes to the merchandising and the concerts and the movies and all of the other things that can take someone from a Disney star to a Vanity Fair cover?
So, for the record, we blame Billy Ray, that preening hillbilly propping up his sexed up 15 year old. Seriously, gross.
The Dark Knight looks awesome
New posters from The Dark Knight are popping up all over the Web. We can’t say enough about how cool all of the art we’ve seen from the movie so far looks. If we were still 13 (or if our old lady wasn’t such a buzzkill), we’d totally have this hanging up in our dining room:
We’re dreading GI Joe
We’ve been sitting on this link for weeks, not sure if you’ve seen it already, but new GI Joe photos have been released, from the movie they’re shooting that will come out in ‘09. For a brief while — like hours — there were dozens of cast shots for all of the main principles, but they have mysteriously disappeared thanks to lawyers. All we have left is Scarlet. Here’s Scarlet from the toy line:
Here she is from the new movie:
And all of the other characters that leaked looked about the same. Black, rubber-like armor. NOW, we’re not one of those geeks that complain that, like, Spider-Man’s costume is NOT supposed to be that color blue. We didn’t care that they changed the X-Men costumes completely. We liked the way Superman looked in the latest movie MORE than he did in the original. We’re seriously not uptight at all.
But the POINT of the GI Joe, when we were a kid, was seeing these people with distinct personalities (shown through their choice of outfit) all battling up to fight Cobra. GI Joe was a ragtag bunch of the best of the best from all of the military outfits. It was cooling having a Marine and a soldier and a Navy guy and a fighter pilot all lined up, in their different outfits, and blah blah blah. We know we sound like a complete loser. Shut up!
So, yes, this looks like just another generic movie about soldier guys fighting other soldier guys. Fine. So, call it Army Dudes and be done. Why make a GI Joe movie and take away the thing that made it unique? That’s all we’re saying.
Shameless plug
Just a reminder, you can now listen to or download a new episode of the PopCast As always, you can either find it here or to the side of the PopPulse main.
We teamed up with Jeff Vrabel, the editor of The Guide, and Liz Farrell, who runs the Island Packet's InCrowd blog, for this half hour look at the absurdity of pop.
This week, we’ve cut the price in half to zero for the full 30 minutes, so you can’t be that savings. Unless we paid you to listen to it. Which we’re thinking about doing.
In this episode, the gang takes on Weird Al!!
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those pics of her by herself at all. I didn't really think the ones of her and her father were that bad, but I can see where you are comming from.
If someone were to show you that photo, and you had no idea who the Cyruses were, and asked you to choose between either, a., these two are the hot couple in Hollywood or, b., he's her dad, which would you go for? And if you have to pause for even a second, then there's your answer.
If someone were to show you that photo, and you had no idea who the Cyruses were, and asked you to choose between either, a., these two are the hot couple in Hollywood or, b., he's her dad, which would you go for? And if you have to pause for even a second, then there's your answer.
I took my granddad out and got dirty looks once. I do understand where you are coming from as I said before.
Take it from me, Pop, it's a burden to be correct all the time.
By the way, you're wrong about GI Joe.
Yes, as a KID, it was fun to play with action figures that were brightly colored and unique and had guns and backpacks and vehicles, etc...
I was a GI Joe freak; I had more than 100 figures, et. al. so I know what I'm talking about.
And I realize we're talking about a MOVIE, but there's different levels of realism and suspension of disbelief here.
Let's take a look at Transformers, for instance, as a great source of comparison.
Bunch of sentient alien robots that are able to transform into different vehicles. OK, I'll buy that, maybe. But when you compare them to the toys, they look like they've been given the Jose Canseco treatment. And look how they butchered Megatron. MEGATRON! My God man!
And yet, the film was still a smash hit, and it was still a ton of fun to watch.
So who cares that they totally blew it when it came to the toys-to-film direct adaptation.
Could it be that you are still stuck in a 10-year-old state of mind? I think so.
Now GI Joe. There's NO WAY that the military's best - Navy SEALs, Army Rangers, Green Berets, DELTA Force - would all work together, realistically speaking. But OK, I'll buy that there's ONE agency that takes the best of these and puts them on one team.
For the record, DELTA is as high as it goes.
Sure, you lose a lot of "personality" when the actors are all dressed alike, as opposed to their characters' colorful origins. But whereas with Transformers, you can have some creative leeway; with Joe, there's really not.
The thing about being in the military is you have to wear a uniform. And the thing about uniforms is that they are ... well ... uniform.
Get over it.
Who cares if the Joes' uniforms are all the same? It's not their "colors" that made their characters unique, it's their attitude and perspective, which will hopefully come out through the script.
I know it's hard for you, but try not to be so superficial. What you should really be worried about is the script - not the "unpretty" costumes.
That might be the most ridiculous collections of thoughts 12've ever read. You have us! You have to wear a uniform in the Army! So, the next time they make a movie about the army, we'll make sure they're wearing uniforms, but when they make a movie about a ragtag bunch of elite specialists, they can WEAR WHATEVER THEY WANT.
Guess what? Robots don't talk. Smurfs aren't real. Bears neither care nor do their stomachs light up. He-Man would NEVER get that big unless he was high on the HGH.
And, OK, we're not saying they have to match the unis in the cartoon. But if our first look of the GI Joe movie is all of the characters dressed in the generic Matrix/X-Men/Blade post-1999 comic book catchall of wearing black leather-esque outfits, then it's a sign that they aren't getting the spirit of the 'toon. How can you argue with that when that's the only evidence we have? Again, THE UNIFORMS WERE IMPORTANT.
Now go get your shinebox!
The Cyrusses know that they need to strike whilst the iron is hot. Everyone knows the achy breaky hearts [and physical appearance] of the Cyrus clan deteriorates as one leaves puberty, so, they gotta tit-u-late before they get too old. We all know what happens to folks as they age. I cannot imagine the whole Hannah Montana / Miley Cryus show with her at 18 and big old mustache starting up. Can you? The teeny-bopp set ages and as they do they are absolutely merciless. They need to collect the dinero while people are willing to part with it.
I wonder if the tour happened now, of there would be the craziness about it, paying far over face value for tickets, given both the economy and the increasing sleaze of Miley to maintain market presence, whether those mothers of tweens and teens would allow their kids to go to the shows.
The answer to both is "yes it would be as big." Because, a., Americans have never been known to spend their money wisely, even in tough economic times and, b., the fans of hers who believe anything the shiny info box tells them, will believe those good old boy Cyruses when they say the evil Mee-Dee-Yuh tricked them into taking little baby Cyrus' top off. Banjos will play. Choirs will sing. It will be glorious. Hallelujah, pass the spin.
The only thing that will ruin her career will be the puberty of all the little girls that listen to her. They will starting wearing black and listening to rap music and bands that have the word "death" in them and will begin telling their mothers, who months before they had eagerly attended the Miley concert with, "I hate you" and "you're not the boss of me!" And they'll start hanging out with creepy, oily teen boys with wispy mustaches and the smell of failure.
Miley will lose her charm that day, for sure.
I quote:
"The only thing that will ruin her career will be the puberty of all the little girls that listen to her. They will starting wearing black and listening to rap music and bands that have the word "death" in them and will begin telling their mothers, who months before they had eagerly attended the Miley concert with, "I hate you" and "you're not the boss of me!" And they'll start hanging out with creepy, oily teen boys with wispy mustaches and the smell of failure.
Miley will lose her charm that day, for sure."
This sounds like what Pop must have went through when he was blossoming into an awkward, bony, young teenaged girl.
While you're checking your blush and tucking in your skirt, please step off the soap box - what's so prophetic about "calling" Miley's destiny?
Nothing.
Hoo-ray, you really nailed that 7-10 split there, Barbara.
OF COURSE she and her slimy parents are manipulating her image, squeezing every sleezy dollar out of it they can. OF COURSE it's morally reprehensible, but no one really cares. That's because the media-consuming American public is, by and large, a stupid creature. Present company excluded, of course.
Oh, and you're still wrong on GI Joe. A movie about smurfs or talking robots - or both at once - would still work because it'll be packaged and written in such a way as to justify the existence of such things.
No such luck with GI Joe. It just won't work.
Yes, it means the movie won't be a true representation of the toys, but (again) neither was Tranformers, and it was still an entertaining film.
You're so angry ... maybe you're pre-menopausal.
Allow me to "call" my shot here. GI Joe will be no "better" in terms of quality writing, etc..., than Transformers, but it will still earn a lot of money and people will still like it. Regardless of the uniforms.
This isn't my term, but I think a lot of this is programmed outrage. I thought the photo between she and her father was well done regardless of what it may have looked like. That certainly wasn't the intention. Plus, Annie Leibovitz, the photographer, is known for her uber-intimate photographs.
As for the photos of Miley covering herself with a blanket, I think people seem to have forgotten "Blue Lagoon." I just did a Google Image search of "Blue Lagoon"+"Brooke Shields" and at least one of the photos I couldn't even post on this blog.
And Brooke Shields turned out money.
This stuff is minor league. I found Britney Spears' early music videos, particularly, "Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know," far more suggestive.
Pretty Baby was even worse. AND SHE WAS 13!! The '70s were a crazy time for child porn.
And we're not so sure about the "Brooke turned out OK" bit. She seems kind of kooky to us.
I think this was definetly a setup.The photographer probably told them to pose like this and promised them alot of money so they were probably just thinking about the money.Now I'm sure the photographer knew these photos would be controversal and he knew it would get alot of attention.Therefor he would make more money.Now I say Miley Cyrus get of the lime light now before the paparatzzi get's you lol.
Um, that's crazy talk.
First, the photog is a woman, not a man. Second, Miley made somewhere in the 10-20 million range last year alone. How much do you think the photog offered her to take her shirt off and crawl on daddy? Third, OF COURSE the photog told them to pose. That's what photogs do. And while we agree with you that Billy Ray probably is mentally still a child, he is physically an adult. He is allowed to say no. Fourth, if she is a MULTI-MILLIONAIRE and can be convinced to pose like this for ANY SUM OF MONEY, it says more about the Cyrus clan than we have already stated.
Maybe she was offered candy?
Annie Leibovitz could only hurt her spotless reputation as one of the world's premier portrait photographers by doing what Marissa89 suggests she may have done. I think if you peruse her photos, you'll find other father-daughter portraits that are equally intimate and, I suppose, equally likely to be misconstrued.