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NewslettersPOP: The best of Keanu!!
Before we get started, quick Idol thought. If you didn’t see this performance by David Cook, check it out. There’s something ... creepy about him. We admit. (Stop staring at the camera! You’re freaking us out!)
But we do enjoy this rendition of Mariah Carey’s Always Be My Baby. Come on, cynical attitudes aside, how can you not say this rocks, to a certain extent. We’d buy (well, illegally download) this if it was a single. That’s all we’re saying:
The greatness of Keanu
In honor of Street Kings, the latest Keanu Reeves movie that completely tanked (second place this week to PROM NIGHT!?!?!, $12 million), here’s a list of the TOP FIVE KEANU REEVES MOVIES.
One caveat, though. These are KEANU REEVES MOVIES, as opposed to Keanu performances. We thought Reeves had a chance to reinvent himself as a romantic lead with his performance in Something’s Gotta Give, a Jack Nicholson movie we think is pretty awful. (Although our colleague, JCribbs, would fight us to the death about this. Whatever.) Regardless, it’s not a Keanu movie, it’s a Keanu performance. A Keanu movie is one in which the Keanu is the top attraction. This also excludes The Gift and A Scanner Darkly and The River’s Edge.
Oh, and we didn’t see My Own Private Idaho. So, you know, sorry.
5. Constantine
Are we the only ones who liked Constantine? Just us? We never read the comic book, maybe that’s why we weren’t angry, and we had absolutely no opinion coming into this movie, but we really sort of liked it. It looked pretty. The story was compelling. There were a lot of Keanu-isms. All around, a fun two hours. What are we missing?
With that said, we really couldn’t come up with a No. 5. The Replacements? Sweet November? Feeling Minnesota? Chain Reaction? We’re at a loss. So Constantine makes the list.
4. Point Break
The first time we saw this movie we thought it was pretty bad. And then we watched it roughly 2,342 more times and really started to love it. Surfing bank robbers, ex-college QB FBI agent, Gary Busey, Swayze, what’s not to love? It’s not just over the top, it can’t even see the top from where it is, high up in the ether.
(By the way, this is our favorite Swayze moment and tops in the movie, “She was my woman, man, we shared time. But Rosie, he is a mechanism, (all serious) and once you set him in motion, he will not stop.” By the way, we're still not sure who this Rosie is. Which character was he? We want to party with this dude.)
We also loved the ending, where Keanu and Swayze seem to have switched haircuts. What subtle storytelling! See, they’ve become one another! Two halves of the same coin! Riveting.
3. Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey
Our first upset. As much as we love the original, we sort of prefer the sequel. Maybe it’s because we’ve seen it less, or maybe it’s because the humor seems a bit less ... Obvious. And way darker (they die, you know). But we’ll take Bogus Journey over Excellent Adventure. Although we’re willing to listen to arguments.
2. Speed
Keanu Reeves’ first comeback, and his reinvention from stoned doofus to action star (this was back in the ‘90s when all you had to do to reinvent yourself was cut your hair short, like Clooney, which SOOO didn’t work for us in college).
We really loved Speed. Still do, actually. It’s just a great action movie. And even though it’s sort of a rip off of Die Hard (Die Hard on a bus), it was the inspiration for all the movies that went on to rip IT off (Speed on a plane, Speed on a boat).
Plus it has Sandra Bullock before she was annoying. And Dennis Hopper back when he was cool.
We saw this originally the NIGHT of the big OJ Simpson car chase. We literally left our living room and went to see this movie, which was surreal, to go from one slow chase that wouldn’t end to another. And now you know ... the rest of the story.
1. The Matrix
We posed the “greatest Keanu movie of all time” question in our latest PopCast (which you can hear here), and there was a surprising debate. Really?
We think it’s obvious. Matrix. Matrix. Matrix. Honestly, we don’t even want to hear the competing argument. It’s on the short list of best movies of the last 20 years. So, obviously, it tops Keanu’s personal best. And it perfectly complimented his hollow personality. He’ll NEVER make a movie better suited for his vacant awesomeness. What argument do you have? There is no spoon!!
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"My Own Private Idaho" isn't a terrible omission. It's the second-best movie he's in behind "The Matrix," but his performance isn't fantastic. River Phoenix really takes the cake in that.
Not having seen "Constantine," I would have picked "Sweet November" over that. I'm assuming "Constantine" is like horror-action or something. "Sweet November," although ridiculously gooey, actually relies on the performances, the drama created by the actors. And it's not a bad movie. It's got Greg Germann, who was really good as Fish on "Ally McBeal." It also did about $65 million worldwide at the box office. Not bad.
I did like "Something's Gotta Give." There is nothing wrong with this. I wouldn't even consider it a guilty pleasure, which I think is an inhibitive concept. You should never feel guilty or self-conscious about enjoying a movie… unless it's sadomasochistic pornography. Or documentary snuff films. Then you should get an analyst.
But I generally like anything by Nancy Meyers. She knows exactly what she's doing, and there's this signature tone to all her movies you don't always notice because it's so subtle. "What Women Want" is very freakin' good, for instance. So is her version of "The Parent Trap" with Dennis Quaid and Lindsay Lohan. And she wrote the "Father of the Bride" movies, which are pretty perfect.
Regardless, Reeves isn't really much of anything in "Something's Gotta Give."
Come on, guys! How could you leave out The Devil's Advocate? Keanu as an idealist young lawyer from the south (we know this 'cause of his REALLY bad, inconsistent southern accent), Charlize Theron as his beautiful wife, and Al Pacino, in one of his most over-the-top performances EVER (which is really saying something) as Keanu's mentor... who turns out to be THE DEVIL. Good, cheesy fun!
And jcribbs, I'm with you. "Something's Gotta Give" is terrific. It's correct to say that Keanu's "not much of anything" in that movie... just totally dreamy, which is all we need him to be. The perfect foil to arrogant, childish, boorish Jack Nicholson. (Um, I'm just talking about Nicholson's CHARACTER... of course:)
We hated Devil's Advocate for all of the reasons you loved it. Keanu's horrible accent. Pacino screaming and shouting all of his lines. It's like Rosemary's Baby mixed with something that really, really stinks.
And we think Keanu was great in Something's Gotta Give. Charming, even. Adult. These are qualities we don't usually associate with the Keanu.
The fundamental flaw in that movie is that Keaton should have ended up with HIM. Why do you go to a rom com to see the nice guy finish second? YOU DON'T. A movie written by a woman, directed by a woman and starring a famous woman decided the ending should be Keaton passes on nice, handsome Keanu for boorish Nicholson (who we all know cheats on her 47 minutes after the movie ends). It's ridiculous.
Nicholson is completely changed at the end of the movie. Dude is crying! Don't you remember the visual imagery? The big, shaggy beard? The isolation? No way he cheats on her. He's a changed man. You're also holding the movie up to your expectations of reality. Nancy Myers is like Fred Astaire. She doesn't make movies about what life is like. She makes movies about what we all want life to be.
Although, I've heard not-so-good things about "The Holiday," which is coming up soon on my Netflix queue.
There's a bunch of people that do what she does, including Nora Ephron (with mixed results) and Richard Curtis in England — albeit with added ribald humor. But "Notting Hill" is probably one of my favorite romantic comedies.
Oh, and "The Devil's Advocate" is a difficult movie. It's difficult because it's mostly a failure, but I watch it almost every time it's on TV. It's a failure you can't really take your eyes off. It's interesting, and it could have been awesome. But Reeves isn't good in that movie. Pop Pulse is exactly right: The Wachowski Brothers are pretty brilliant for casting Reeves in "The Matrix." Which is why I'm kind of psyched for "Speed Racer," which looks cool.
Your argument is flawed. What's more unrealistic? That Keaton ends up with Nicholson or that she ends up with Reeves? If we were a woman in her 50s (and we are), what "we'd want life to be" is a place where we can ditch a fat jerk like Jack for a nice, rich doc like Keanu.
You know nothing about women, obviously!!
Keanu is a fanboy in that movie. He can't get over how "brilliant" Keaton is, and he doesn't even know her. If she were to date Keanu she would be dating a friggin' fan. That would be like Keira Knightley dating… someone who was really good looking but often wore a T-shirt with her face sewn on the front. It would be a little much.
But Jack, he knows her. He doesn't care what she does. I don't think he's even particularly interested in theater. But he turns out not to be a jerk because she inspires him to change his entire life. Keanu doesn't change. He just fawns over her. Not to mention that he's like 15 to 20 years younger.
Jack's not a jerk; he's misguided.
You're projecting way too much. Our point no. 3292 why this is a flawed movie: If the characters are so poorly drawn that a., two people can see the same movie and have completely different takes on them and b., their motivations are so hard to follow that you have to read between the lines to understand why they do what they do, it's not a good movie. It's just NOT.
And it's our blog, and we're right. Always. You get NOTHING! You LOOSE! Good day, sir!
Loose.
Good times.