A 100-year-old home is considered historic in Beaufort; I imagine Europeans scoff at us when they hear that, what with castles dating back to centuries long past.
But relevant is relevant, and in the context of a country that declared its independence some 234 years ago, I suppose a house built in 1908 is historic.
back in Rome, New York, it's my grandma's house, and there's no historic significance to it. It's a farmhouse with a chicken coop in the back and a screened porch that was enclosed somewhere back in the 1970s. The only element that hasn't changed over all these years is that the house is still red and sit next to a field.
Historic? I don't know. My grandmother was the president of the South Rome Senior Citizens, and her son was the N.Y. State secretary of state finance back in the late '80s and early '90s, but Mark Twain never wrote a newspaper article there, Don McLean didn't carve his name into her dining room table while penning "American Pie," and President Roosevelt never stopped over for a nap while hunting bears in the north woods.
We did have awesome Christmases there, though.
So, what makes a sign erected in 1974 historic?
In case you missed it, Beaufort has an ordinance on the books that says all business signs must be "monument signs," that is low and on the ground, rather than the skyscrapers or building hanger sigs, and they must have conformed by last May. (Obviously, that hasn't exactly happened. Last I checked, the McDonald's sign on Boundary was still tripping birds.)
But the city last night said the Beaufort Podiatry sign on Ribaut in Hospitaland was, in fact, historic.
Go figure.
Frank Lloyd Wright didn't design it, and the Emancipation Proclamation wasn't read under it. There is no history; it's a sign. I won't judge whether it's pretty or ugly — that's neither here nor there. But I will say that if we call that sign historic, well, we're a pretty sorry lot, aren't we?
So, next up? MFC. Yup: Maryland Fried Chicken.
I, for one, actually dig the sign. It harkens back to a bygone era, when gaudy ruled. Like the old TAB soda logo. But historic? You've got to be kidding me.
I was in central Florida a couple of weeks ago, and saw a Maryland Fried Chicken sign. It was lovely. All bright red and yellow, with the trademark hen and chick and a sparkling beacon atop it. It stood out against a slate-grey sky much like the old Sands sign popped on the Las Vegas skyline.
Somehow, it works on International Drive. Or in Las Vegas.
In Beaufort? Not so much.
But taste is taste, and, again, that's not what we're arguing, is it?
It's history. I suppose the Chapel of Ease is historic, but maybe not the Royal Frogmore Inn. The lighthouse on Hunting Island? Historic. The OC Welch building on Robert Smalls? No.
Let's all put on our thinking caps for a second, OK? It's just plain embarrassing to call, say, the Burger King sign on Trask Parkway historic. As good as the chicken is at Maryland Fried (and it really is), it certainly isn't John Cross Tavern, God rest its soul.
CK Passante
managing editor